Wandering

(Cheryl Garner, 2013)

 

I took a train to see the world.

Each station brought me something new:

An angle never seen before,

A chance of colour, shape and sound.

 

I don’t suppose you saw me go:

Just couldn’t see the world like that,

Just couldn’t see the grey old dust

As tracks which led to somewhere grand.

 

I took the train and saw the sky.

You’d never know the blue I saw.

A destination never holds

The freedom of a wandering heart.

 

I don’t suppose you missed me much:

For after all, to you I’m dust.

 

Journal Entry – November(?) 1998

I broke my journey today. Not because of any whim, simply that the train we were on was late, and I figured I might be able to catch a faster one from Bradford.

People seemed lost, or panicked. I hadn’t seen them like this before, and I wondered what would happen if the trains just stopped for good. how would they cope? For that matter how would I cope? There seemed to be some kind of togetherness breaking out, but it was kind of with a sense of irony…

…I don’t believe this is only a matter of months since all that happened, and nothing yet seems to have settled…

 

Photography by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poetry by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train Journal by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

Train Leaving

(Cheryl Garner, 2013)

That lost, bewildered look she loved:

So why, today, was he a wreck?

“Forget the night”, she said again.

They fell in drops about her feet,

 

Those heavy tears, they fell inside.

She made her smile for one last time:

It formed a line about her lips

Which wasn’t there the day before.

 

The first he knew she’d walked away,

A rueful cast upon her frown.

So there he stood, alone and cold:

He wished he’d worn a better shirt.

 

He wished he had a clever line.

The platform span and she was gone.

 

Journal Entry (24/11/1998)

The rain is falling heavily today. We’ve had days of frost in the mornings, but today it’s grey and a little misty. The people are mainly huddled under the covers in the station. Even the ones who prefer to be on their own first thing. There is such a loneliness about the place today. I’m writing and my breath is steaming up the window so I can’t see out. Everything seems still (even on the train). I think things might be about to change in some way.

 

Photography by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poetry by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train Journal by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

off switch

(Cheryl Garner, 2013)

He sat alone in carriage four

And felt the depths inside his world:

It fell away and left him hung,

Some music making pointless sounds.

 

He saw the train in hidden ways:

In colours, shapes and sorrow dreams.

He saw it as it really was:

A metal box bereft of tales.

 

The other people on the train

All tried their best to look so calm,.

He felt them panic all around:

They looked for something true to hold.

 

He closed his eyes, the music played:

Too much to take, he switched it off.

 

Journal Entry – 21/11/1998

Just closing my eyes and being at least honest to myself about my thoughts.

On the front of a newspaper: another loss of innocence. The person next to me is marking primary school classwork.

Maybe to escape, to break from the inwardness. To find new areas to write into, to run into (or from). This page has ceased to be an environment for ideas, for anyone. And who am I now? A presumed me? An overt me – the one they all know? To find a new voice which – by its very dishonesty gets closer to the truth. Can I write away the tension in my neck? Can I make the world in my image – or find instead a new world. I know I shouldn’t be afraid: all is all and always was.

 

Photography by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poetry by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train Journal by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

Broken

(Cheryl Garner, 2013)

He broke his journey on that day.

No reason why, no thought before,

He simply picked his bag and left,

Four stops before the usual place.

 

And still without a question raised

He left the station, walked into

The town whose name he’d always seen

But never thought a real place.

 

He wandered on without a goal,

Just looking at the streets and shops,

And people on their way to work,

And none of it made any sense.

 

He stopped and stared up at the sky.

Same sky, same day: different life.

 

Journal Entry – 19/11/1998

Who is to say what is anachronistic and what “just is because it is”? The is nothing intrinsically odd about how fields are arranged: they “just are”. If one landowner tried to straighten out their field, all hell would – more than likely – break out. People protect what is, no matter how absurd, no matter how bizarre the chance configuration of elements that produced such a ridiculous status quo.

Writing on a journey changes the way that I travel. Rather than sporadic and unfocussed thoughts I fill my time with words I can return to. It imposes a form upon my thoughts, which are by their nature scatter gun. I look up from the book and it is a kind of freedom, as if I am stepping out into some kind of dream. Then I return back to the blue lines of the page, and I am back into reflection and into the strictures of the world of writing: the world of work.

 

Photography by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poem by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train Journal by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

Soliloquy

Cheryl Garner (2013)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The light was dreaming for the swans:

A morning mist, an autumn drift,

For necks to lift and court their kiss.

I wonder how I’ll break the news.

 

The leaves beneath my feet were soft,

But dry despite the time of year:

It could have been the perfect walk.

We are apart – so nothing’s changed.

 

I close my eyes and count to ten,

And nothing’s changed: it never will,

No matter how you try to hide.

This train pulls further from that past.

 

And closer to the end of things.

Oh god: the beauty of those swans.

 

Journal Entry (18/11/1998)

As people leave the train I have more space to retreat into, more space to make space in. I am now in close proximity to the woman sat opposite me. My proximity to her in eye across from eye only. We avoid contact. Her arms are crossed, resting on her satchel on her lap. I hold the book up at a defensive angle. The book rests on my brief case on my lap. She has black gloves and a large watch. It is 5.30.

Almost everyone has disembarked now. I am alone on my set of seats. Set “C”, says the note above the door. I fade into my writing and almost miss my stop. It is like waking hurriedly from a deep sleep.

 

Photograph by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poetry by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train journal entry by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

 

Thought

Cheryl Garner 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She had a thought: that sky was true,

That sky was blue as eyes, as deep

As weeping in a loveless home:

Not cold, but crystalline it shone.

 

She had a thought: those lines were meant

As purpose, point and route to run,

Another means to fake escape,

Until the next direction pulled.

 

She had a thought: of someone trapped

As everybody else was trapped,

But who would see her questions asked,

By fists she formed as stations passed.

 

Her music played, the sky was sky,

She had a thought and let it die.

 

Journal Entry (19/11/1998)

Trivial details can release a whole range of associations, if they find a language. Some details, if approached incorrectly, remain stubborn, introverted, secretive. It is not that, of themselves, they are necessarily unconnected, simply that they have not been allowed the space and time and words to become what they could be.

People dream on trains: of escape, of love, of change, of being. They are a means of transport to somewhere else. They are melancholic. We sit and watch the world, move through it in sadness and contemplation. I love you. I feel you coming to me in every breath and somehow everything seems possible. I know you too will pass. That tree by the River Aire has never seemed so lost amongst its roots. I drift and play with time. Suddenly I am on a beach – could it be Brighton in spring? Or maybe it is a beach I have never been to nor ever will. The wind of a distant time blows through my hair. And I will die alone on that beach. Not sad. Not in fear. But alone.

We approach the next station. There is an old man on the platform and a couple with a dog. Only the woman gets on the train. The dog looks puzzled as only dogs can.

 

Photography by Cheryl Garner (2013)

Poetry by thecheesewolf (2013)

Train Journal by Gavin Jones (1998)

 

 

 

 

The Things (Les Choses)

 

Video Poem: The Things (Les Choses).

Poetry by thecheesewolf (aka Gavin Jones), music by Joseph Kwasnik

Inspired by the writings of Georges Perec and Walter Benjamin, The Things (Les Choses) is a history of the everyday, of objects imbued with personal meanings and stories. The five poems together tell the tales of five objects which have formed part of my life (indeed part of me) for the last twenty or so years. The images were all filmed in my home on the Lancashire and Yorkshire border (in the North of England). The music, by Joseph Kwasnik, was recorded in the same room as the filming. In keeping with my other works, this poem looks at the central theme from a range of perspectives.

If you would like to read the poem, they are available at www.thecheesewolf.wordpress.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trailer for the video poem “The Things (Les Choses)”. Music by Joseph Kwasnik. The Things (Les Choses) is a work in five parts, inspired by the writings and ideas of Georges Perec, Walter Benjamin and Gaston Bachelard.

 

 

The Apple Trees is a video poem for thecheesewolf (aka Gavin Jones)’s poem, the written version of which can be found at:

www.thecheesewolf.wordpress.com

 

this video poem is copyright Gavin Jones 2013

For the Crossing is a video poem for thecheesewolf (aka Gavin Jones)’s poem, the written version of which can be found at:

www.thecheesewolf.wordpress.com

 

the video poem For the Crossing is copyright Gavin Jones 2013